For every serious home alarm security system out there, you’ll find at least a few hilarious (but utterly useless!) DIY or novelty security devices. Arguably, it all started with Macaulay Culkin’s paint-can swinging, doorknob-heating, BB-gun shooting antics in Home Alone, and got slightly more serious from there. Today take a more humorous look at home security, and check out a few interesting, but ineffective additions to your home alarm security system.

 

Electronic dogs!

A dog can be a worthwhile part of your security system – as long as you’re happy to feed it, walk it, love it … etc. Now you can get electronic versions of the real thing that don’t need the food, love, and walking; these electronic watchdogs include motion sensors (ones that can see through walls, etc), and emit a realistic-sounding bark upon detecting movement. You can also program them to emit a siren noise on top of the barking dog, or to simply alert you to an intruder’s presence with soothing rainforest sounds or ‘arrival alerts’. Personally, we think that the human brain will fairly quickly distinguish between the sound of a real and electronic dog bark … in frequency, variation of tone, static source of sound, etc.

 

Opto-electric fake TVs

If you’d like to leave your TV on to help give the illusion of occupation when you leave the house, but don’t want the associated guilt or electricity bills, you can now get an energy-efficient ‘opto-electric’ fake TV that emits a fairly realistic approximation of the light given off by a real LCD TV. Unfortunately, burglars tuned into the whole “I’ll leave the TV on to make them think I’m home” scam by homeowners quite a while ago… any serious burglar will watch your movements anyway. A home alarm security system is a far safer option.

 

Pepper-spray ‘guns’

Capsicum spray (and its replacements) can be a neat personal safety addition. I’m not so sure that the pepper spray ‘gun’, which fires the horrible goo up to 13 feet away to eliminate the possibility of blowback, is a good replacement for a home alarm security system though!

 

Cacti

A good substitute for razor wire? Perhaps … but usually not! Cacti have caused many hilarious moments in slapstick comedy movies, but they really don’t replace a real home alarm security system. They may be ornamental … but unless you’re planning to pole vault over your impenetrable cactus-hedge to get inside your home, I’d just stick with a back to base home alarm security system.

 

Fake security system stickers

Canny thieves have been known to try to trigger alarm systems in houses that have home alarm security system monitoring signs or stickers displayed on the property. Unless you want them to find that you were bluffing, and the house is really unprotected, I’d just get a sticker or sign from your real home alarm security system monitoring company instead!

They’re hilarious to think about … but may not be so funny when they fail to stop a real break-in. In the long term, real home alarm security systems and monitoring are far more cost-effective!